Blah.
Stuck in a rut. How is it I get so far from my initial intentions without realizing it? How is it that even with a good idea, I have lost my motivation? I find myself still thinking about writing, enjoying reading others' writing, critiquing writing, proofreading college students' writing, teaching high schoolers writing...but not actually writing.
My grading and lesson planning has all been manageable. My kids have all become amazingly self-sufficient on the homework front so far this year. For once none of my kids have a current sport or activity eating up the afternoons and evenings. My husband cooks dinner pretty much every night. My laundry gets done on weekends. I even have some time to take a nap before dinner and read after.
But I haven't been writing. Why, when I have the perfect set up right now, am I not writing? What is this? I am one of the least lethargic people I know when it comes to doing things that need done! Yet, when I hit 9-10pm, and the kids are in bed, everything's ready for the morning, I'm not tired cause I took a nap, and there's nothing else to do...I read or zone out on some random game or task.
But I should be writing! That time every night, no excuse. It is so hard to get back into the habit. I feel like I don't get back to it because I don't know where to go; however, I think this is a lie my mind tells itself because the act of writing will trigger the ideas and organization I'm looking for. I know this piece will set itself up if I would just get it moving.
I don't even feel like rereading and improving this post before putting it up...So what's my problem?
Blah.
"Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds...encouraging one another" Hebrews 10:24-25
Not sure I can give you a diagnosis. Actually, not sure this isn't a rhetorical question. (I'm terrible with the subtleties of conversation. I always answer and usually it ends up...kind of not so good.) I can tell you what's wrong with me. I always start out excited and strong with my ideas. Then...SQUIRREL! I get distracted by something else that might not be equally interesting but, SQUIRREL! requires less effort on my part. I liken it to the parable of the sower. I think my personality is that of the seed sown among the thorns. Realizing that, I have to utilize tools and create environments for success.
ReplyDeleteIt was open to be answered or not. I understand the premise working here, but can't give it an actual name. Part of it for me is environment too I suppose...I find too many other things to do in my house. But the other part is that I enjoy napping and reading too.
DeleteSometimes the best cure for this is a looming deadline. Maybe you should try http://www.nanowrimo.org the National Novel Writing Month Challenge in November. It's not meant as a means of getting a great novel finished as much as it is to get down a sloppy first draft.
ReplyDeleteOh, thanks for locating my misplaced thought Jeff! I had read a blog last month about deadlines and then when I was typing this up, I couldn't recall it! Yes, this is a great idea! And I was going to blog about NaNoWriMo next month. But that's a thought - do my own little challenge for that month. My unofficial NaNoWriMo.
DeleteBurnout. And I'm with you, sister. What we both need is a raging hot fire in the belly, and what we've got is a small pile of embers.
ReplyDeleteBlah.
Well, then on the up side a pile of embers is better than smoldering ashes right? At least embers can reignite :)
DeleteOh my God I am so with you two. I HAVE a deadline and all I want to do is doodle while I watch MSNBC. Maybe when the election is over I'll find my motivation to even update my blog.
DeleteBTW Jennine, has anybody ever told you that you look like Rachel Maddow in glasses?
Nobody has, but when I showed my husband a picture of her he laughed and said "I guess so."
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