Live in the Plural

Source: Crown and Cove

A couple weekends ago I had a number of bad days in a row. Two errant thoughts/feelings from the week grew inside my head on Thursday, torturing me as I focused on them. So when Friday came around and work I'd done for my classes needed redone through no fault of my own I sank further into the pit. That Saturday brought hours of wasted time, as I worked on a PhD project using the wrong topic...initially missing the side note I'd added in class that week to clarify the requirements. I would have to start all over. By dinnertime on that Saturday I realized I hadn't really been in touch with anyone outside of my immediate family for three days. And even at home, I'd hidden away to avoid anything but my misery. And I thought, bad days happen, but what could I have done to avoid going on for days in misery and withdrawal?

I'm big on transparency and learning from each other - even if it's just among a small gathering or a few friends. So, on our FB group page, I asked the ladies of my church for their input on the following situation: "You know those times you've held it together through a few things gone wrong in a few days' time, but then there's one more thing that goes wrong and it's one thing too many. And really crying - or at least throwing a fit - seems like the best option. But the problems are still there afterward...So where do you go from there? What are the things you think, read, say, and do that help you get back on track?" Myself and a few ladies responded with the following:

• Sometimes when we hit a bad day or thing we think we'll just push through and don't know there is possibly more [bad days or bad things] to come. So it's best to pray and be still about a "bad" day or situation immediately. Sometimes it's just that one thing that makes the rest look as bad as they do...and sometimes that first thing isn't even as bad as we think in the moment. Being still before God realigns us.

• We tend to push ourselves to hold it together and then we really lose it. Attitude is the first thing to go! Try to recognize what is happening and do some positive self talk to deal with it and not let it build up.

• It builds up because we try to keep everything in. We need to talk about what's going on out loud and get it all out and rest.

• After throwing a fit - cause sometimes that just happens - say out loud "Ok Lord, I can't fix this alone so you need to help me." Acknowledging out loud that we can't fix the issue and giving it to God then and there is needed because we know we can't fix it, but hold onto the possibility that we can anyway.

These make sense and I see the use of all of them, so I wanted to share the collective wisdom of my friends in helping to relieve bad days and situations that get out of control. While I've collected their advice and pondered the way "bad days" get out of control in the couple weeks since my bad weekend, I came across another amazing help in such situations - this one more of a prevention than a cure. This past weekend I attended Ohio Ministry Network's Time Apart (a women's conference) in Columbus, Ohio. We had an amazing speaker on Saturday, Dr. Alicia Britt Chole, who spoke from her various writings, among them newly published The Sacred Slow. She and her husband have spent thirty years mentoring people in growing deeper roots in their walk with God. And her final point of the afternoon on Saturday hit home for me on this topic I'd been writing and thinking upon.

Her last point was simply titled "Live in the Plural." She says that when it comes to self-talk (conversations we have with ourselves - about ourselves - in our heads), we need to shift from thinking "I" to "we." In theological reality, we are never alone. We say that God is always with us; therefore, it is never an "I" who is doing and thinking, but a "we" - Jesus and I. Dr. Chole states that, "Every moment of every day is a moment to abide in Jesus. You need to think and live as we - 'Jesus and I.'"

Her point in this is that such thinking will affect how you talk about yourself and others when Jesus is involved. We may not have a problem looking in the mirror and saying, "I look so ugly today." But, as believers, if we are thinking and living in the plural, we find it difficult to say, "Jesus and I look so ugly today." We have no problem looking at others and thinking, "What is her problem?" But if we are thinking in the plural, it becomes more difficult to criticize by thinking, "What is her and Jesus' problem?"

That weekend when I realized I'd have to redo my work I was thinking, "My time is wasted and I don't know how I'll find time to redo it." If my mindset had been "we," the thought would have been, "Mine and Jesus' time is wasted and I don't know how either Jesus or I will find the time redo it." And at that moment, it would've all turned around before getting out of control. I mean really, is Jesus' time ever wasted and is it impossible for Jesus to find the time to redo something? Thinking in the plural in that moment would've turned me to Jesus immediately, lifting up my problem and moving on. (As it turns out, on Monday I had an idea to fix my problem and a co-worker in charge of the new program helped me fit my work into the new format required. No real extra work or time required. All that fret and the following days of misery for nothing?)

Live in the plural! Jesus is always with you and so nothing you think, do, or say is on your own. Placing Jesus directly alongside you in your every thought, word, and deed is a good way to do as His Word says in Romans 12:2 to "be transformed by the renewing of your mind." Cures are good, they are needed, but isn't prevention the best course to take when we can?!

Birthday Love

I'd say, especially yourself!
Source: Instagram @david.c.cook

"Our decisions, our relationships, and our preferences in large part stem from what we say to ourselves about ourselves." Ruth Graham

And what is it you have said to yourself about yourself ? 

I'm not enough, smart enough, able enough, good enough...

I'm not loved, understood, wanted, needed...

I don't measure up, understand, have what it takes...

I can't get it right, be what others need me to be, do what I should...

I am alone, too different, too intense/shy...

I've never made a big deal about my birthday and it hit me this birthday why not. Because of the things I've said to myself about myself over the years. The list above probably looks familiar - most of us have felt or thought similar things about ourselves at some point - but I've thought some of these things on a regular basis for most of my adult life. I allowed the results of wrong decisions I made as an 18-year-old dictate everything I thought I knew about myself for the twenty years that followed. 

In her book Me, Myself & Lies: What To Say When You Talk To Yourself, Jennifer Rothschild states that, "The words we say go straight to the core of our being. They shape the way we think about ourselves. They influence our emotions and our decisions. They resurface in our conversations with other people. They can spur us on to live meaningful, productive lives, or they can make us not even want to get out of bed!" The sentiment is biblically based too - Proverbs 23:7 states, "For as he thinks within himself, so he is" (NASB). I had basically convinced myself at some point that I wasn't worthy of celebration. 

The more I've thought about it, the more convinced I am that this has gone beyond birthday celebrations though and I've found myself in a weird middle ground. I try to work behind the scenes or within a comfortable group of people. Yet, at the same time, I have little fear of speaking up and speaking out and who doesn't like the chance to do big things and be recognized here and there? I believe there is a disconnect between what I am able to do and what I am comfortable doing because of the way I've spoken negatively to myself over the years. I long to charge forward in a big way,  but only after I'm sure no one's looking. I've stalled my own boat, so to speak. The car is in gear, but I'm riding the brakes.

But this year things have changed. I feel differently than I have before about all kinds of things - especially myself. My time spent in God's Word, prayer, personal Bible studies, etc., has slowly reshaped my thought process. I'm stepping into leadership positions and making dreams come true, as well as stepping out of old mindsets and comfort zones - picking it all up as it comes with prayer and without overthinking. God gave me a verse at the beginning of 2017 that has come back to me on numerous occasions: "...I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well" Psalm 139:14 (Click here for more about this). I've seen more and more that I am how God intended me to be, so I need to learn to accept me and use what I've been given to make this life effective for Him. Otherwise, I'm wasting precious time and opportunities not standing by those whom I would be involved with if I weren't so busy holding myself down.

It has come about slowly, but I think it's picking up speed...this ability to love and accept myself. I've noticed in the past couple years even I've felt excited for my birthday, even though I didn't always make plans or spend it in any special way. I figure between this year and next, that gives me two years to get myself prepared for a super 40th birthday celebration! I will also (hopefully) be very close to finishing my PhD at that point and just months away from my 20th wedding anniversary, so I'm telling my husband and friends I have big expectations for "specialness" to happen!

But for now, do me a favor...look yourself in the eye in the mirror today, smile big, and say, "I am fearfully and wonderfully made; His works are wonderful. I am who I am because He has a plan that gives me a purpose. And I can love myself because He loves me, as I am, more than enough."

Then go into your day in strength of His promise. 

My Whole Being Waits

source: Instagram @elizabethlaingthompson

Hey everyone! I hope whatever this week has brought you, that above all your eyes have stayed on Jesus. It's been a weird week. The week began and continued to be bittersweet and filled with tears over our friends, the Bowers, moving to SC. I was able to keep it together with them all evening Wednesday at church (their last evening with us), until we drove away and it became very real to me that we would no longer see them as we please. What can you do with the kind of hurt that wells up as a physical ache in your chest?

This was also the first week back to school for me and with some new things in place for teachers and a new grade level for me to convert to our use of technology throughout the year, it crushed me. I've worked nonstop from the moment I walked into the building until the moment I've left. (Yesterday I made myself eat lunch without working and today took lunch to talk with all of you.) I napped after school the first two days and sat like a lump yesterday evening. My Kent classes start next week and I just wonder how I'll find the self-motivation and energy to make it through the next 39 weeks. 

And then there's just life in my head. What I know God has for me to do now, what I think is in process, and what I wonder it is all leading to in the future. And as my thoughts jumble over each other at any given time, my emotions begin to frustrate as well and I can feel them trying to take me down. My attitude changes in my head and in moments I become petty and even snippy with those around me. Even when it's good stuff, too many thoughts in too many places is overwhelming.

But today ladies, today I awoke to a reminder in Psalms 130:5 "I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope." In reading the Word daily, in staying in prayer, in worshiping, in weekly fasting, in surrounding ourselves with a Christian support system, we wait - or remain - in Jesus and we find our hope. A friend recently gave me advice in a hard moment to take it one day at a time, don't look so far ahead. And now I add to it that not only does one day at a time take away the overwhelming aspect, but in taking it one day at a time, we can better wait on the Lord. 

And suddenly my week looks differently. The bittersweet tears over the Bowers's departure becomes somewhat momentary in the fact that future visits are already planned and technology will keep my family and I in touch with them as always. And I'm reminded of the blessing just to have them in my life and to keep in touch so easily.

I realized this morning that I've hit very few snags in my work at school this week - technology has cooperated and free trials of programs and apps have allowed me to transfer from old technology to new as easy as can be (there's just a lot to transfer). I have SO much done in preparation for the next month. So much done during work hours that I didn't have to take much work home and the naps, laying around, and time with my family didn't mean other work was going undone. I came to work today feeling ready to go in the days to come. And my Kent classes? Two semesters of actual classes left - there's a light at the end of the tunnel and the fact that I managed it last year. One day at a time.

And my thoughts...the redirection in other matters has redirected my thoughts as well. I am content with now. Do what God has for now - spend time where and with whom God says, speak and write as God leads, do the best in the roles which God has currently ordained. Record away the upcoming he has given for later reference and don't worry about months and years in advance. If I can't wait in and live in and learn from NOW, God's future plans for me are delayed anyway and I'm left in a longer wait than even He intended. 

Being present where God has you now - especially if it's a season of waiting or transition season - is the only way to be. Wait in him and you will find your hope. And that hope will alter your perspective in all that goes on around you. 

The Struggle is Real...and Good

Back in February I wrote about a particularly hard week and weekend I had, but unsure of my take on things and with my busy school schedules, I delayed posting and then just didn't. I reread it recently and I feel the same about what I wrote. And I've continued to experience it - brought to tears and the end of myself in the months since as God continues His work in me. So I left it as is from February 2017:

Ever have those times where life feels - heck, you feel - like a complete mess? Maybe there are external factors such as sickness, finances, or relationships involved, but with or without external factors, there is likely roller coaster emotions. You feel good one minute and then find yourself free falling toward sadness, despair, hurt and/or anger, maybe feeling helpless and hopeless. You find a pick me up or make some progress, but within days or a week later you've fallen off track again. Even if you like roller coasters, this one threatens to make you sick.

No? It's just me? Well, just in case someone else out there understands, know I've been there too. I'm there now, and I'll likely find myself here again in the future. Because only one thing in this life is consistent: change. Usually, if you're human, change brings with it struggle. Even though change is always around us, sometimes our lives hit seasons of greater or more change, and the struggle is more than a hashtag, the struggle IS real.

We know journeys and seasons of life change us...how could they not? And isn't that the point on more than one level? But "knowing" and "knowing from experience" are two different things. My sister for example, who knows my birth stories well, right after having her first child recently, asked me, "Why did you do this three times?!" (She was still a little out of it at that point.) She'd heard all the gruesome details about birth, she'd read articles, watched videos, gone to Lamaze classes...but none of them could prepare her as fully as the actual experience of giving birth.

I find more and more that I'm faced with this difference between knowing change happens and experiencing change - I'm strangely aware of myself now as I haven't been before. We are taught to know that God is making us like Him, but what do we know from experience? God has newly opened my eyes to moments where my tone of voice is off, my words don't glorify him, my intentions are not right, my insecurities and fears are carrying me away, I am being prideful, etc. Realizing these moments - knowing they've been a part of me for awhile - I wonder how I still have a husband and friends?!

That mantra for the past month - the struggle is real - drove me to prayer and to seek support. After a particularly difficult week that moved into a harder weekend, where I felt like nothing but a mess, I found myself revealing the horrible feeling to my husband and a friend. Both encouraged me greatly with truth, that things are not what they seem (thank God for husbands and best friends). The enemy whispers lies, blows things out of proportion, creates despair, and robs us of what God gives; God gives abundant life (John 10:10). Keeping this in mind helps us determine from which source we are receiving in any given moment...I had been listening to the wrong side more often than not that week.

That Sunday, with the swells of "How Great Thou Art" reverberating around the sanctuary, I whispered a prayer of thanks to God for just being who He is. And without thought the next words slipped from my lips, "Thank you for the struggle." Somewhat surprised at my words, the explanation whispered into my mind - it is because of His sacrifice that we do not struggle in vain. With Him we have the ability to struggle and with struggle we have the ability to find Him. We cannot become like Jesus without drawing close to Him. Drawing close brings about a change of heart. And change of heart often brings struggle.

But take heart, there's a purpose. In John 15:1-5 Jesus states, "I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." (NIV)

Cut off - ouch! And why prune what is already producing fruit? Is that really necessary? It makes one wonder, why prune fruit trees? Turns out, pruning fruit trees allows more sunlight and air to reach all parts of the tree, which focuses a tree's strength on the good branches that will bear and support even more fruit than it has already. Since fruit trees are all about the production of fruit, pruning is the successful means to that end.

Not always, but often our struggles hurt because they are evidence of God's pruning. If we are the branches remaining (or abiding) in Christ, He is not going to leave us as we are. He sees our potential, He knows what He has for us, and He is going to change us accordingly. He does so with precision, a step at a time, but it is up to us to remain in Him through the process. The struggle is real, but it is good.

Praying the Psalms, a Review

Source: NetGalley

Praying the Psalms: Growing Emotionally Closer to God and Those You Love, by Rick Stedman
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers
Publication date: October 1, 2016
Category: Christian, nonfiction, motivational
Source: I received this galley from NetGalley for consideration of a review.

Rick Stedman has written a series of books on prayer, the latest a teaching on how to pray the Psalms of the Bible. Early on in his book he gives a good description of what this entails and the benefits he sees in learning to pray the Psalms: "The Psalms are not church-lady approved, sanitized prayers. They are real, edgy, and authentic—even violent at times. In praying the Psalms, we learn to face our deepest hopes, hurts, and fears and to bring them to God in brutally honest prayer. We learn to identify and express a wide range of emotions, while at the same time keeping those emotions from ruling our lives. We learn how to handle hate and anger, overcome guilt and sorrow, and experience grace and mercy. After all, the only place to learn these skills is within real relationships, which is very clever of God. In the process, we find intimacy with God, deeper community with others, and—in what is perhaps the biggest surprise of all—we discover our very selves."

He provides a four step method for praying the Psalms, which consists of finding emotional words while reading a Psalm aloud, journaling the words in connection to personal experience, and formulating prayers from there. Stedman then spends a good portion of the book working through the first ten Psalms as examples of this practice. A number of word lists wrap up the book - emotional words found by certain categories to help you find Psalms that may be more relevant at a certain time.

For anyone looking for a new way to pray - and specifically to pray using the Bible - Rick Stedman's book is what you are looking for.

The God Who Sees Me

In my posting last week, I found this post - written and ready to publish - sitting as a draft on my dashboard. I wrote it the week after Mother's Day and forgot to post it. Can't let a post go to waste, and even though Mother's Day was a month ago, the beauty of the moment hasn't faded. So here it is.


It's no secret that motherhood is hard. From the first days home, new moms find out they really didn't know the extent of the responsibility, hard work, or absolute love. And even though the workload of motherhood is not a secret, we live as if it is.

The Saturday before Mother's Day 2017, my great day ended a little bit in the dumps. At the end of a long week and dealing with the unique stress of parenting teenagers, with thoughts of what Mother's Day is all about swirling in my head, I felt unnoticed and unappreciated as a mother. Not guilty over what I do and don't do - simply unnoticed for what I do. It is perhaps the biggest sacrifice of motherhood, to continue on whether or not anyone seems to notice or appreciate your efforts. 

In an effort to ease these feelings, my husband posted a sweet picture of us and our great day together that Saturday to social media. Honestly though, by then my long week and stress were joined by the comparison trap - myself to others. Knowing this kind of thinking takes me nowhere but down has never stopped me from following the spiral previously, but somewhere in a corner of my mind I paused to whisper a five second prayer, "God show me I'm noticed." Because in a world where we are all aching to be noticed in some way, Truth says there is One who always notices, whether we feel it in the moment or not. 

By Sunday morning quite a few posts had popped up on social media feeds, some people I barely know, detailing acknowledgement of mothers for everything they do and everything they are. Of course, we love to see such women acknowledged, but mixed with our admiration, we need to be aware of feeding the comparison trap as well. The best way to combat something so strong is to make the choice to step out in front of it, put your foot down, and say, "This will proceed no further." Already a step ahead of myself in taking the thought and feeling captive, wanting my loved ones to know I appreciate all they do as moms, I had filled out cards, mailed personalized notes, and sent messages a few days before Mother's Day. As God has aptly shown me in the past year, and to paraphrase Ann Voskamp, to live in your brokenness - given out to others - is to allow God to turn your brokenness to good, to perhaps even heal your own brokenness.

Getting ready to attend my sister's church for her son's baby dedication the morning of Mother's Day, I received a text from my 15-year-old daughter to make sure I come into the house when I pick them up at grandma's (where they had spent the night). I told her daddy was coming, I was still getting ready, and why did she need me to come anyway? Her reply: It's for Mother's Day.

I showed up to my daughter and a beautiful, body length blanket she had stayed up until 4am - working six hours - to make for me for Mother's Day. I had gone to bed at 3am after my husband and I spent 12 hours away, driving our oldest home from a prom she attended an hour and a half away, quite mindful of that crazy bedtime hour with so much going on the next day. And here, my younger daughter had stayed up even later than that, sacrificing for me in the moment I was sacrificing for someone else?! The absolute feeling of being loved washed over me. The fabric is a heavy, ultra soft fleece - combining my love of warm blankets and dachshunds all at once. Plus, my mother-in-law had not only taken her to the store, but also purchased the materials needed for it to happen. Double the love.

And it hit me while singing "I surrender all..." in church half an hour later, God had heard my five second prayer the night before. I had sent it up in a quick moment, with barely the faith of a mustard seed and little thought of it afterward, and it came back to me in complete blessing. My child noticed me. My husband gave me a beautiful card - he had noticed me.

At lunch that afternoon I received a card from my sister, a new mother celebrating her first Mother's Day. It began with the words, "You might feel like no one notices..." and had a hand written note inside praising me and stating admiration that just blew me away. I struggled not to cry in my seat as I read it. I gave her a hug, told her the card was perfect, and spent a good meal with my family, loving on my nephew.


Back home after lunch, my youngest and only son approached me with a hand made and perfectly worded (all by himself!) Mother's Day card...complete with a stuffed dachshund (notice a pattern here?). The stuffed animal had been hidden in his closet for a month, waiting for today. Grandma helped him plan it.


Dinner was spent at a local Hibachi place with my in-laws, their treat. What a great meal, filled with laughter, and some of the precious little time we are all together at once. Complete with a beautiful card claiming things about me that I don't always believe about myself from my niece and nephew. A friend of mine, who didn't know of my specific feelings as a mother at the moment, but knew the challenges the weekend presented with my kids, schedule, and other conflicts, checked in with me a couple times to see how the days and events had gone. To top if off, my oldest daughter and I made it through a whole weekend of events we would potentially fight about without fighting! Even when I messed up her graduation invitations by forgetting to put the date and had to affix the date to each invite with an obviously added-on label made by a label-maker.

By the end of the day, so much unexpected love and appreciation had been poured upon me from my family; but, I'm unsure some of them realize exactly what they did for me. What I do know is today was more than the usual Mother's Day. Mother's Day up until now had been like any other day for me. I've received cards and gifts on past Mother's Days, so how was this one so different?

In my heart, I knew I was noticed. By the end of the day, it was more than just my family who noticed, it was God. I didn't try to find or manipulate anything or anyone for attention, I handed over the negative feeling, and I asked for Him to show me I was noticed and He made it abundantly clear that He had seen me all along. So clear that all the public posts in the world boasting praise of my motherhood couldn't compare. What else matters when you know in your heart God sees you? When you know the very people who make you a mother, wife, daughter, sister, and best friend see you.


"She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: 'You are the God who sees me,' for she said, 'I have now seen the One who sees me.'" Genesis 16:13

My nephew Maximus

Quietness and Trust

Source: Pinterest.com

This past Wednesday turned into a day where one thing after another (both big and small) went wrong like a snowball effect and made me come a little undone. The day had started out beautifully, but by dinner time I was pacing around, unable to sit or focus, annoyed beyond belief at the the accumulation of stupid stuff that had ruined my day. And worse, I couldn't escape it because where I went, there too was the anger and frustration.

The next day, Thursday morning, I read Isaiah 30 and verse 15 leapt from the page: "This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: 'In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it.'" Quietness + Trust = Strength, but indeed I would have none of it the day before. How many times has God pointed me to "be still and know" in the past year? To quiet myself and trust in His strength to fight for me, for my day, for my situation, etc. Yet, I continue trying to put my life back together on my own, causing more frustration.

Because Thursday I woke up to a new day, where the problems of yesterday were taken care of in part and the things still there didn't seem like mountains, but the molehills they actually were. Which means my upset of Wednesday accomplished nothing but ruining my mood and my day. If I had slowed, prayed, and trusted, how differently might my day have gone? And how silly to look back and see what upset me. Only one thing of the whole day was worth being upset about and even then, that problem was taken care of in the end.

And so I repent and rest in this truth, urging myself and everyone willing to hear God's call in this verse, to continue learning and living the art of abiding. To be quiet (still) and trust (know) that God's strength will pull us through. But it takes our choosing to stop and challenge the torrent running through our heads with trust in God's strength to be our own. At some point we have to muster the faith to take that trust-powered stand.

Me, Myself, and Lies

Source: Amazon.com

Me, Myself, & Lies (for Young Women), by Jennifer Rothschild
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers
Publication date: April 11, 2017 (for Young Women on May 1, 2017)
Category: Christian, nonfiction
Source: I received this galley from NetGalley in consideration for review.

Sometimes a book's title says it all. Me, Myself, & Lies, by Jennifer Rothschild, speaks to the issue of negative self-talk. Lies we tell ourselves about ourselves - things that are essentially untrue. For example, you are not an idiot for forgetting to bring your grocery list to the store - you are human and humans make mistakes. Seems trivial? Science has proven that repeated actions burn new neural pathways in our brains. So years of accusing yourself or calling yourself names on even the "silly" level definitely sets you up to feel like and live like a failure in the end.

Rothschild references a well known quote I have on a plaque in my classroom. Although she quotes it with a different wording, my plaque reads:

Ultimately, the things we think about ourselves will form who we are. Yes, we may be successful in different areas in life, but your success does not define you. Proverbs even states that "For as he thinks within himself, so he is” (23: 7 NASB). To quote Rothschild directly, "In other words, the way you live is a reflection of the way you think."

Source: NetGalley.com

Rothschild describes our minds as though closets and the thoughts as clothing we can choose to put on and take off. We must choose to take off the negative comments, relabel them with God's truth, and wear the truth instead. For example, you are not an idiot, you are beloved. The edition of this book for young women speaks to specific issues and examples pertaining to teenagers and young adults. Here she provides seven must-have "pieces" needed for your thought closet: daily maintenance, hope, water, memory, chill, perseverance, and heart. Each of the seven pieces is broken down in categories that deal with issues of anger, control, feelings, identity, and many more.

Overall, these books provide step by step guidance in fixing your thought process and guiding your mind onto a better pathway. A great resource for those who have wandered how to apply the well known verse that instructs us to, "take every thought captive to obey Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:5).

Out of the Box Summer

A couple weeks ago, I finished my first year of my PhD with straight A's. I went straight from finishing my college semester to focusing on finishing my school year as a teacher, which meant grading 86 research papers and teaching one more book in the remaining three weeks of May. Happy to say I finished the last of those papers today and besides another day and half of classes, I am free!

Well, free of my full time job for a few months, but not free from the ebb and flow of life. Next week will lead me straight into planning the rest of my daughter's graduation party: ordering food, making decorations, and putting together picture collages. She's a full time college student next fall and our relationship will begin to change. I don't know how to navigate it all quite yet, but I'm desperate to find a decent balance of parent she still needs and the friend I will eventually fully become.

The party at the end of June will give way to a few days of taking care of our friends' two boys while they are away on a trip. Bringing my two younger kiddos as back up, of course. Triple teaming them ensures we all come out alive and happy! Haha! I am looking forward to getting to know the boys better. The past year has definitely taken a toll on my connections to my close friends' families and I feel I've missed some milestones.

A week later, my husband and I are off to Israel for ten days. This is a trip of a lifetime for more than one reason. First of all, it's a pilgrimage for us - to walk where Jesus walked. I am expecting big things - to come back refreshed, fulfilled, and ready with a new word for my path. Second, my husband and I have never been on a trip together, not even a honeymoon. Although we'll be traveling with a mix of friends and new acquaintances, our kids won't be there and the evenings will be ours to do as we please. I get nervous when my kids take simple trips away, so this will be a challenge even as it is a dream come true. Third, besides Canada, we've never been out of the country. Besides a one hour flight to Chicago, we've never spent any significant amount of time on a plane. This is the Middle East! The flight is nonstop eleven hours one way! This trip tests everything I've said I would never do, because leaving the comfort and familiarity of home challenges me on every level - physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Yet, even in my most nervous moments, I feel the desperate tug to go. 

Two weeks after returning from Israel, my children and I are meeting friends just outside of Myrtle Beach, SC where we all rented a beach house for the first week of August. My husband just started a new job and they so graciously gave him unpaid time for the Israel trip (which he shouldn't have received), so he won't be going on the beach trip with us. I travelled once before without him, chaperoning our church's youth group to Ocean City, MD. But this feels crazy. The trip was meant to be one more family trip, as our oldest daughter's schedule will change more drastically as a full time college student next year. So in that vein, it makes sense to be upset my husband won't be there. But, this is how in a box I have kept my life: I can't fathom that I am driving my kids all the way down there myself...my husband always does the driving. I'm going to have family vacation photos without him in them? I can't fathom that I am spending an actual vacation without my husband...he's my comfort in my out of the box situations.

The week we get back from the beach, I go back to in-service days for teaching, my students come the following week, and my next PhD semester follows the week after that. And the crazy begins again...not that it's stopping over summer to begin with.

I typically don't like this much busyness...I likes gaps of break time between events. But this year is different. These events are all amazing and special in some way. They are all extremely personal to me for different reasons, but also for the same reason - I have to step out of my box and trust God. It's almost like someone planned it out for me - a summer of out of the box living. All of these events usher in endings that also serve as beginnings. One thing is sure - I won't make it to the end of the summer the same person I began it as.

Rhythms of Rest

Source: shellymiller.com

Rhythms of Rest: Finding the Spirit of Sabbath in a Busy World, by Shelly Miller
Publisher: Bethany House Publishers
Publication date: October 4, 2016
Category: nonfiction, Christian, motivational, How-to/self-help
Source: I received this galley from NetGalley for consideration of a review.

Rest. Seems it's not easy to come by these days if you have any semblance of a life. Church, family, friends, work, school, fun, hobbies, domestic chores (from major repairs to laundry)...the list just doesn't end. Rest is like an elusive fairy tale, something from a long gone era. Who has time for that, as much as we want to?

Yet, it's a commandment - to observe the Sabbath and keep it holy (Exodus 20:8). This tells me two things: it is possible and it is needed. So how does Sabbath look in the lives of 21st century Christians?

Alongside biblical commandments, that "to-do" list above probably makes it obvious why I took interest in Rhythms of Rest - I know I need it and can't quite figure how to find it. In the past year of readjusting my schedule for schooling, I have come across a few moments where I chose rest over work and it proved beneficial, but I would like to make this a consistent way of life.

Among the first things Miller makes clear is that rest looks differently among individuals. And even for one individual, "rhythms shift while remaining focused on what is most important." As much as most of us love routine for its ease and predictability, your rest is a rhythm that will not necessarily stay the same from one week to the next. Perhaps this is why we find rest so hard to do - it lacks routine. But good news, rest is scientifically proven: "A plethora of studies show that the brain requires alternating periods of structured work followed by unstructured rest in order to maximize function." So right way, we need to forget the guilt factor - there aren't rules, just the need for rest.

Another point Miller touches on is that the idea of Sunday as the one rest day doesn't apply as it did before. Rest is any time of any day in which we take time to relax from our work, at times to spend it in solitude, or with family, friends, or God. Sabbath gives us a break to stop, clear our minds, and relinquish control:

"When the mind is focused entirely a problem, we lose sight of God’s place within it. We pit ourselves against all the details as if the problem is ours to conquer immediately. Anxious and tense, we can wrongly assume that unless we achieve total victory, we will lose the battle and defeat will be our legacy. Sabbath provides space between you and your problems, enabling you to see from God’s perspective, often with surprising results, like a word breaking through your questions about life and awakening you to something more important. God is always near, but we often dismiss his powerful presence in the midst of pain and hardship."

Rest is not just for the purpose of regaining energy to hop back into the busyness - it's for the purpose of recollecting ourselves and going back into our schedules truly refreshed and perhaps even with new Godly perspective. And let's face it - none of us can go nonstop and make it through at our best.

Hopefully, you are convinced that rest is a need at this point - it should be top of your "to-do" list! If so, pick up Miller's book for further discussion on how our rest is met with resistance and even sabotage, but how we can stop trying so hard and maximize our rest.

Called to Speak

Source: New Hope Publishers

Called to Speak: Practical Tips for Women's Ministry Speakers and Teachers, by Edna Ellison and Linda Gilden
Publisher: New Hope Publishers
Publication date: January 2, 2016
Category: nonfiction, Christian, motivational, How-to/self-help
Source: I received this galley from NetGalley for consideration of a review.

Much like the last book I reviewed, Successful Women Speak Differently, Edna Ellison and Linda Gilden's book Called to Speak drew my attention because of life circumstances. As a teacher, I speak to groups of high school students daily, on an academic and personal level. Even though I've been teaching for twelve years, there are always ways to improve. Yea, yea, I know the subtitle talks about women's ministry, but I've often found that similar principles apply across the nuances of an overarching topic. At a basic level, speaking is speaking and teaching is teaching. So, if I had the chance to read a book on the topic, why not take it? And if it is as Gail Godwin said - "Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths pure theatre" - then consider this part of my one-fourth preparation. Ha!

Written from a perspective of Christian principals, Called to Speak of course speaks to the need to cover all speaking preparation and activities in prayer and discusses how your relationship with God affects the what, where, when, and how. Each chapter speaks on a broader level as well. One of my favorite topics Ellison and Gilden discuss is purpose and passion. Your purpose is a specific topic, but it is also the fact that you speak for the benefit of your audience, not yourself. You need to have great passion for your topic and the people to whom you speak, or else your message will fall flat. I've heard adults say things like, "I didn't like English in high school, but my teacher made it a lot of fun." I guarantee that teacher was enthusiastic about his/her subject and loved working with teenagers. Passion/enthusiasm makes a difference. Ralph Waldo Emerson speaks to this point well:

"Enthusiasm is one of the most powerful engines of success. When you do a thing, do it with all your might. Put your whole soul into it. Stamp it with your own personality. Be active, be energetic, be enthusiastic and faithful, and you will accomplish your object. Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm."

Besides passion and purpose as my favorite part of the book, other topics of interest discussed are: partnering with people, personality and the public, paths and possibilities, practice and perseverance, and more. I definitely highlighted more than I typically do while reading Called to Speak - great resource for those who have already started down the public speaking path as well as for those headed in that direction.

Successful Women Speak Differently

Source: Amazon.com

Successful Women Speak Differently: 9 Habits That Build Confidence, Courage, and Influence, by Valerie Burton
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers
Publication date: November 1, 2016
Category: Christian, nonfiction, motivational, self-help
Source: I received this galley from NetGalley for consideration of a review.

Moving around in a familiar world made new, aka grad school, I found myself drawn to different topics. I watch my professors, how they choose their words and tone of voice, the level of professionalism they choose to maintain among each other and students, etc., and wonder if I would know how to speak, act, or sound if I found myself in a new place, job, school, social setting, or otherwise.

That's what drew me to Successful Women Speak Differently: 9 Habits That Build Confidence, Courage, and Influence, by Valerie Burton. I'm a talker, both verbally and written...I could text all day, write all night, and hang out with people in between. Unfortunately, I also have foot in mouth disease: Thought comes to mind, mouth opens, sound comes out, foot goes in, silence and regret reign. And I've always wondered what I can do on my part to improve the way I speak - whether it be to sound more professional or just to be more considerate.

Successful Women Speak Differently, shows how clear communication makes the difference in influence you have and favor you gain. A few tips given in the Amazon.com summary accurately state the main purpose of this book:
  * recognize the nuances in speech that can mean the difference between success and failure
  * increase your influence by changing what you think and say in critical moments
  * speak accurately about yourself so you don't sabotage your most meaningful goals
  * boost your confidence by making simple tweaks to your everyday speech

Based on Christian principles, Burton's book gives great explanation and examples of how words, tone of voice, and body language play more into how others read you than you know. For example, when I am personally invested in a topic, my voice tends to become passionately elevated - aka unnecessarily loud. My family points this out to me in various ways, funny and serious, but being my family, I ignore their comments. However, Burton has a section about volume of speech presenting a person in different ways in different situations, loud not being good most of the time. Open mouth, insert foot. Lesson learned. And hopefully less tasting of feet in my future.

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

I can be intense, I don't like to cook, I only clean when it starts crossing THEE line, I don't mind doing laundry, I hate the NFL (football itself is fine otherwise...if you're into killing brain cells), I have a love/hate relationship with exercise, I have a weakness for candy, pop, and sweet tea, I have always been a working mom and have never regretted it, I've never participated in PTO or a mom's group by choice, I enjoy my teaching career and have loved quite a few students as my own over the years, I am proud of my talents although they don't always feel useful in the grand scheme of things, I will read and write like there's no tomorrow, I love words and I want to use them to inspire and encourage people, I hold my close friends close as my family, I adore my fur babies, I've enjoyed my own kids more as teenagers than little kids (for the most part), I don't deserve my husband but I'm awfully happy I have him, I love Jesus, I know Jesus loves me.

That's me. I've spent far too much time regretting who I am and who I'm not. Feeling bad and feeling guilty for what I like and don't like, for what I can do and can't do, what I do and don't do, in comparison to common social roles or just other people in general. Even if it's just in my head, it's gone too far. It's a lie.

Because the only thing on that paragraph list that matters is the last one: Jesus loves me. And the last one validates all the others. The Bible tells me "...I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well" Psalm 139:14. Everything about me has been a part of me from the start. I can't remember ever liking cooking, even as a kid with my mom. My mom says I've sat "reading" books since I was old enough to hold a book open. I never once imagined myself as a stay-at-home mom, college and career have always been on my radar. Regardless of what anyone has to say about this list of me, I should stand assured because it's who I am...who I was made to be. And every part of me - made fearfully and wonderfully - will serve the purpose God has for me to glorify Him.

What a great word God has sunk into my head tonight (as I'm writing Sunday at 2am), but it doesn't end there because I'm not in this on my own. My husband is laid back, he doesn't mind cooking, he cleans and actually does it right (I take short cuts), he loves the NFL and played football, he drinks coffee, he has useful computer skills, he does not read or write and doesn't have a way with words, we are agreed on our friends and family, he loves Jesus, Jesus loves him.

Do you see what I see? Two people who are opposites, put together as compliments of each other. Our personalities and abilities fit together like the pieces of a puzzle, one filling in the other's gaps. Where one is weak, the other is strong, and vice versa. Team Gleghorn - cause everything we do needs to be done as a team. My realization that I should accept who I am came hand-in-hand with the revelation that I don't truly view my work as a team effort with my family. Dare I say sometimes I forget I'm teamed up with God?! Yet, everything I do my family (and God) are a part of, whether they or I like it or not. For example, right now, my enrollment in grad school affects my whole family's schedules. Especially Brandon, who has to do the running around of kids and errands that I don't have the time for. The kids picked up certain household responsibilities and more independent time. All of which limits their time for other things. And the tables have been turned in other seasons of our lives. This team compliments me and I them, so that we can each be who we are.

2017 brings with it so many good things - I can just feel it. Possibly the biggest for me though is learning - really knowing - that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. That God knows me and wants me to know Him, if I would only seek.

To paraphrase author Ann Voskamp: I am hard after Him.

Set Apart

I know I've been MIA here on the blog, but I'm just finishing up week 12 of 15 for the semester and the weekly assignments they come with! The work load stayed consistent up to this point, but I've slowly felt less crazy about it. All I have left are two final papers and presentations for each, one per class.

What's changed? My ability to schedule in family time and bits of fun around work and school work improved, although I will not claim perfection by any means. But, overall I settled into the new schedule; however, that happened in large part due to my perspective change.

I always thought I'd get my PhD as a career step, taking me to the place I've been working towards all this time: professorship. The final means to the final end. That might be the case one day, but it's no longer a certain goal. As I've worked, cried, and dragged myself through this first semester I've realized differently.

This journey is a dream realized, but it is not the destination.

This journey is going to change me like no other journey has. It's going to force me to face my weaknesses and broken parts and learn to live in them and through them, changing what needs to change to come out a stronger and better person than when I started. Deep? It was a crazy "Whoa" moment when it came to mind, so yea, I'd say so, but also not surprising.

I should know by now that it's always about the journey. When one ends another begins and so we are always living in an opportunity of personal betterment, if we're willing to see it.

I was not willing to see it for the first half of this semester. The work was immediately challenging and forced me to set boundaries on my time and energy. To do well, I had to change the routines I'd been living in (basically doing whatever I wanted to) for years. I felt left out and lonely on a journey that no one around me had taken before - so that even in the good moments I didn't feel anyone could share my joy. Because of that I tried to keep my schooling separate from the rest of my life and often found myself silent among people or avoiding the topic because my schooling is my life right now. I avoided the FB newsfeed to avoid the empty hole ache of what felt like friends enjoying life without me and spending time with their families while I had to limit my own. I felt guilty over the choices I made to balance my schooling with work and family. Feeling completely dumb, I kept wondering why something I wanted so much was so difficult?

I felt God had given me the desire of my heart and then left me there to struggle through it. Dramatic? May seem so, but anything life changing has the ability to turn you upside down and inside out, while appearing completely normal to everyone else.

Fortunately, I do have family and a couple friends who allow me to vent and babble my way through the emotion and revelations until it's all sorted in my head. Also, I read a few books over the summer whose lessons kicked in for me on a level I hadn't foreseen. One of my beloved authors, Lysa TerKeurst, states best what I've learned about this journey so far in her book Uninvited:

"There is something wonderfully sacred that happens when a girl chooses to realize that being 'set aside' is actually God's call for her to be 'set apart.' This is true.

To be set aside is to be rejected. To be set apart is to be given an assignment that requires preparation.

Embrace the preparation today. And remember you are 'set apart' beautiful one. Chosen. Adored. And reserved for a high and holy calling."

This...now...is the preparation for something else. God has not left me high and dry, He has set me apart. This is time to wait but also time to grow. If I put in the time now, seeking all God has for me on the other side, all the hardship and change will be put to good use - the best use as only God can manage. I don't know exactly what awaits on the other side of my next four and a half years of schooling. I am content to know I am right where God wants me and that He will guide my steps. I need only keep my focus ahead and remember He has me set apart for a higher purpose.

Wherever you are today, I encourage you to stop and ask God "Why am I here and what would you have for me?" He may encourage you in the direction you're already headed; He may surprise you with a turnabout; He may ask you to keep waiting on Him. Whatever the answer trust in it and keep at it!

Without Rival

Without Rival: Embrace Your Identity and Purpose in an Age of Confusion and Comparison, by Lisa Bevere

Publisher: Revell
Publication date: August 16, 2016
Category: Christian motivational, nonfiction
Source: I received this galley from NetGalley for consideration of a review.

Wow, October just blew past me. I didn't even realize it until I came to the blog and saw I only had two posts for the month, but have the start of half a dozen waiting with the intention to finish and post. And two of them book reviews! One from the summer, but, I somehow managed to squeeze another read in September. Assuming you read the intro info, it was Without Rival, by Lisa Bevere. I had the pleasure of hearing Lisa speak in September while reading her book too!

Lisa and her well known author husband, John Bevere, have a number of motivational Christian books to their names. Although I've read John's books previously, this is the first of Lisa's I've read. The title and idea equally captured my attention. What would it feel like to live without rival? To not see others as competition or not feel limited in life? It's almost unimaginable. Except Lisa lays out the very real possibility of living without rival.

Throughout her book she discusses how to (list from Amazon):
· Flip rivalry so it brings out the best in you
· Stop hiding from conversations you need to be a part of
· Answer the argument that says women are unfit, easily deceived, and gullible
· Dismantle gender rivalry and work with the men in your life

And of course, she does all of his through a Biblical lens, fighting through the comparisons, lies, etc., to become who you were made to be. I love the way Lisa cut to the truth with simple statements. Among my most favorite are two quotes that work together to form a wall of comfort around me for the hard stuff of life.

"The attacks on your life have more to do with who you might be in the future than who you have been in the past" and "Destiny is revealed in seasons of confrontation rather than seasons of comfort." Together these statements tell me I matter, I have purpose. The hard times will not go to waste, what I learn will move me further, and there is hope because I just have to keep alongside God, fighting through.

So powerful! To know we have purpose - a calling - and we need to keep reaching. I am absolutely encouraged by Lisa Bevere's Without Rival.

Play with Fire

Source:Family Christian Book Store

Play with Fire: Discovering Fierce Faith, Unquenchable Passion, and a Life-Giving God, by Bianca Olthoff
Publisher: Zondervan
Publication date: August 30,2016
Category: Motivational, Christian
Source: I received this galley from NetGalley for consideration of a review.


As I've worked my way through a series of motivational titles this summer, I feel lucky that so many wonderful authors decided to share their experiences and wisdom through publication in the past so many months. Among these titles I found Play with Fire, which I requested mostly because of the author, Bianca Olthoff. I was not familiar with Ms. Olthoff at all up to this point, but she is one of a few big names in the field of female Christian authorship scheduled to appear at the Propel Women event I am attending in September. Hearing authors speak is always a good time, but how much better when I'm familiar with their thoughts and words? It's akin to rereading the book, which is always good, but I have little time for typically.

Wanting to be familiar with Ms. Olthoff, I went in search of any books to her name and came across Play with Fire on Amazon. Seeing it wasn't yet published, I headed over to NetGalley. What a good idea that was! What makes me especially like Olthoff's book is the fact that although I couldn't identify with much of her life experience growing up, her ability to state her thoughts, emotions, and spiritual situation hit me, and those I could relate to. That's talent.

Play with Fire takes readers through a set of years where Olthoff found her life falling apart. Her mother's worsening fight with cancer, her father and siblings at wit's end, making bad choices for herself financially, emotionally, and relationally, she likens the experience to the Israelites wandering the desert for 40 years. She spent years looking every which way for anything that would ease the pain of wandering lonely and afraid, only to find nothing helped, and in fact she felt worse. As Olthoff's story unfolds, so does the evidence of God's grace. With hindsight, Olthoff is able to trace the places where God had been by her side in her personal desert all along, waiting for her to reach the point of crying out and truly longing to be set free from her turmoil. Although pushing through was not easy, and she found herself stalled at times, Olthoff's story is heartfelt and encouraging to anyone finding themselves stuck in a hard place.

I always assume that part of what makes a book good is the timing in which it is read. Olthoff's book came in amazing timing for me. I am floored. I am speechless and inspired and ready to take on the place I find myself most fearful to enter. I know the current path was set before me for a purpose, so to walk through it, my faith bigger than my fear, is the only way through. Sounds simple, but we all know it isn't. I thank God for the wonderful men and women of God publishing their lives and God's message for all to read this past year. Their words do not fall on deaf ears.

Rooted

Rooted: the Hidden Places Where God Develops You, by Banning Liebscher
Publisher: WaterBrook (sold by Random House LLC)
Publication date: May 3, 2016
Category: Christianity, nonfiction
Source: I received this galley from NetGalley for consideration of review.


"God is not interested in developing your vision first. He is interested in developing you." The basis of Rooted lies here - we need a foundation to accomplish anything with true success. Professional athletes do not just show up on a field and play, authors do not publish the first draft of their books, teachers do not just waltz into classrooms from the streets randomly, builders do not just throw up walls on a patch of dirt when building any structure, and a seed cannot skip straight to the fruit bearing stage. They all lay a foundation first. A schedule, routine of practice, and/or work that hones their ability, secures the task at hand, and gives them the experience needed to perform their best when the time comes. Likewise, God does not first throw us into the highest level of our calling. He lays a foundation in our lives that we must have for His calling on us to succeed.

What is the purpose of a foundation? It supports something else. In order to effectively support something, the foundation has to be built up, be bigger. A foundation makes ready the object and the object's purpose. Author Banning Liebscher focuses throughout the whole book on how and why God spends so much time laying foundations in our lives and how our ultimate calling will fail without the proper foundation. Liebscher also makes it clear that we complicate the process with distractions and fighting what God is trying to do.

To give you a taste of the wisdom I gleaned, Liebscher points out that foundations often go unseen. Common sense, yes, but something I never actually thought about. I can watch a football game, read a published book, witness a teacher in action, enjoy living in my house, and pull an apple right from my fridge, but only because someone spent time in the background laying the foundation from which these things sprung in the first place. Foundations happen in the "secret place," where no one necessarily knows or sees what you are learning, practicing, realizing. It is there the real work is done and it is there that your ultimate calling will find its support.

What I love about Rooted is it's clarity and practicality. All of Liebscher's discussion was easy to understand and well supported with facts and examples. As he spoke about loving where God has you in the moment, even if it's hard, because it's what will lead you on to bigger things, I could feel it. Being in a tough spot of transitions and new journeys over this past year (crazy that so much happens in a year's time), this was huge. But to get a sense that the crazy emotion, day-to-day life, and physical and mental work of my current life is working toward something great and meaningful yet to be revealed? How could I not feel excitement?!

I highly recommend Rooted for anyone wondering why they may be where they are at this point in their lives...knowing God has a bigger purpose for your life is one thing, but knowing why He gets you there the way He does is valuable insight.

Fervent

Fervent: A Woman's Battle Plan to Serious, Specific, and Strategic Prayer, by Priscilla Shirer

Publisher: B&H Publishing Group
Publication date: July 5, 2015
Category: Christian, nonfiction
Source: I received this galley from NetGalley for consideration of review.

I found Fervent in June, almost a year after its July 2015 publication date. It came up as a recommendation on my Amazon and I found it was still up for review on NetGalley, so of course I jumped at the chance to read it. Not even two weeks later, a group of ladies at much church decided to read it together. I don't believe in coincidence, so I jumped right in.

Fervent covers 10 places in life in which the enemy will attack, throwing you off course, making you unable to focus and pray your way through hardships in life, as well as pulling you from drawing closer to God. So what's at stake? What does the enemy use against you? Your passion, focus, identity, family, past, fears, purity, pressure, hurts, and relationships. That's pretty much everything...

Throughout the book, Shirer speaks to each area, giving her own examples of attack in her life and how she came through them. Using scripture, Shirer helps readers see beyond what we think is happening, to what is really happening: that it is an attack on all God has for us, if we can only see it and respond productively. She encourages readers to write their own prayers based on scripture.

I have enjoyed Fervent...and really enjoyed reading it with my group of ladies. Everyone had such great insights based on their own life experiences. There's nothing like learning from others because they care enough to be transparent. I would say Fervent is one of the better books on prayer that I've read.

Motivational Book Reviews

I'm not sure what you expected to find with the title of this post, but basically, I've spent a whole lot of time reading motivational books from Christian authors over the past couple months. (I don't call them self help because the belief is we can't help ourselves without turning to God.) There are so many of them I've recently read and still more waiting on my Kindle app, each one refreshing me and building me up, each one a treasure I want to share because the messages have truly helped me. Yet, interestingly, many of them overlap each other and my journey through their lessons has just begun, so what to use to fill a review? I figured what better way to put them out there than to give you a post of mini reviews, exemplifying the best of each one?

The first two I read I actually reviewed in the past two months. The first book that started the whole process was A Confident Heart, by Renee Swope. The second was Anything, by Jennie Allen. It would belabor the point to rehash them here, so please see the links for the reviews already written on these books. They are the titles that started the inkling of real change for me.

The third title, Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl by Lysa TerKeurst, hit home hard. I had a consistent feeling of "this is me." The strange thing is, it wasn't what I thought it was going to be and I bought it more because of the author, who I already know I love. Plus, Proverbs 31 (a women's ministry of which TerKeurst is President) was running a read-a-long. I don't really have anyone to read books alongside so I always jump at the chance of a good read-a-long through Proverbs 31. I assumed the book would be about how to do more than just rote Bible reading and do-gooding. And it was that, but it went much deeper. TerKeurst probes at the core of who we are. What do you expect from life, what are doing in life, and is it going to really give you what you need? (Spoiler alert: it isn't). Among her discussion points she discusses allowing people and things to fulfill you and be the source of your happiness, which will fail you because no one and nothing is perfect. She talks about trying to measure up, do, do, do, go, go, go...and again this will fail because you are only human, you will tire going nonstop in your own strength. Plus, you don't have to measure up, you are accepted as you are by God...and true friends will see you the same way. There are many more points like these and all of them spoke to me of reevaluating my decisions and actions.

The fifth title, Undaunted, comes from another author I adore, Christine Caine. (Yes, fifth title because the fourth book I read is by far the best, so I'm saving it for last.) Undaunted discusses ways in which we find life getting us down and out and possibly giving up on what we've been called to do. I will admit some of what I read here was repeat as I've read other Caine books and the material from this book is referenced in them; however, Undaunted gave her story in more detail. She talks about ways in which we become easily discouraged or let the facts dictate what we can do when we are called by a God much bigger than any facts. And then her story of starting her A21 Campaign, an organization that fights human trafficking, absolutely backs up every point she makes. This book encouraged me in my next step forward and the life changes it will bring for me this Fall as I start my PhD program. It's daunting, but I can go forward undaunted if I choose to activate my faith.

And the fourth title? Christine Caine again, this time her newest title, Unashamed. This book can be highly personal to those for whom it applies and that's what makes it so valuable. Unashamed is about the ways in which shame has taken over our lives. Sometimes it's from something done to you and sometimes it's from things you've chosen to do. Everyone is affected by it in some way, at some point in their lives, and that's the value of this book. However, for some shame has played a much larger, tragic role, their lives encumbered by avoidance of and coping mechanisms for shame reactions. The best way to give a look into what shame does is to give a description Caine wrote (from experience) about how the mind reacts even in the smallest hurtful situation, intentional or not:

"So much emotion came with this hurt. Especially the emotion of shame—and it was loud just like a shame-producing giant always is. I was so tempted to interpret that I was being negatively judged. I was sensitive to and fearful of rejection and criticism—and wanted to withdraw. I began to feel I was the problem. I started to slide into my black-and-white perspectives of whether I was either loved or unloved, accepted or rejected, wanted or unwanted—with no rational zone in between these extremes. I began to be tempted to make adjustments to make others feel more comfortable, to people-please. So many of my shame buttons were being pushed all at once!"

Can you imagine living that way with each and every hurt and disappointment magnified ten fold? If you can or you do, you need to read Unashamed by Christine Caine. I've so enjoyed these books so far. It's all hard stuff, but when it comes down to making a life change, following a calling or becoming the you that you are intended to be, you can only change the things you are willing to confront.