Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

I can be intense, I don't like to cook, I only clean when it starts crossing THEE line, I don't mind doing laundry, I hate the NFL (football itself is fine otherwise...if you're into killing brain cells), I have a love/hate relationship with exercise, I have a weakness for candy, pop, and sweet tea, I have always been a working mom and have never regretted it, I've never participated in PTO or a mom's group by choice, I enjoy my teaching career and have loved quite a few students as my own over the years, I am proud of my talents although they don't always feel useful in the grand scheme of things, I will read and write like there's no tomorrow, I love words and I want to use them to inspire and encourage people, I hold my close friends close as my family, I adore my fur babies, I've enjoyed my own kids more as teenagers than little kids (for the most part), I don't deserve my husband but I'm awfully happy I have him, I love Jesus, I know Jesus loves me.

That's me. I've spent far too much time regretting who I am and who I'm not. Feeling bad and feeling guilty for what I like and don't like, for what I can do and can't do, what I do and don't do, in comparison to common social roles or just other people in general. Even if it's just in my head, it's gone too far. It's a lie.

Because the only thing on that paragraph list that matters is the last one: Jesus loves me. And the last one validates all the others. The Bible tells me "...I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well" Psalm 139:14. Everything about me has been a part of me from the start. I can't remember ever liking cooking, even as a kid with my mom. My mom says I've sat "reading" books since I was old enough to hold a book open. I never once imagined myself as a stay-at-home mom, college and career have always been on my radar. Regardless of what anyone has to say about this list of me, I should stand assured because it's who I am...who I was made to be. And every part of me - made fearfully and wonderfully - will serve the purpose God has for me to glorify Him.

What a great word God has sunk into my head tonight (as I'm writing Sunday at 2am), but it doesn't end there because I'm not in this on my own. My husband is laid back, he doesn't mind cooking, he cleans and actually does it right (I take short cuts), he loves the NFL and played football, he drinks coffee, he has useful computer skills, he does not read or write and doesn't have a way with words, we are agreed on our friends and family, he loves Jesus, Jesus loves him.

Do you see what I see? Two people who are opposites, put together as compliments of each other. Our personalities and abilities fit together like the pieces of a puzzle, one filling in the other's gaps. Where one is weak, the other is strong, and vice versa. Team Gleghorn - cause everything we do needs to be done as a team. My realization that I should accept who I am came hand-in-hand with the revelation that I don't truly view my work as a team effort with my family. Dare I say sometimes I forget I'm teamed up with God?! Yet, everything I do my family (and God) are a part of, whether they or I like it or not. For example, right now, my enrollment in grad school affects my whole family's schedules. Especially Brandon, who has to do the running around of kids and errands that I don't have the time for. The kids picked up certain household responsibilities and more independent time. All of which limits their time for other things. And the tables have been turned in other seasons of our lives. This team compliments me and I them, so that we can each be who we are.

2017 brings with it so many good things - I can just feel it. Possibly the biggest for me though is learning - really knowing - that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. That God knows me and wants me to know Him, if I would only seek.

To paraphrase author Ann Voskamp: I am hard after Him.