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| Aunt Loretta...literally gave all she could and then some. |
This morning I found myself sitting in a church pew trying to share about my recently passed Aunt Loretta to my younger two children. They had met her a few times, mostly when they were younger, but physical distance and time trickled by without them getting to know her. The collages of pictures gave a visual, but I was trying to capture the essence of who she was.
I filled them in on all we did with her as kids. Christmases at her house a pile of presents awaited you and you were allowed to eat all the cookies you wanted. She took us to wander down Santa Claus Lane, looking at toys and decorated Christmas trees at Kraynaks every year as well...we always left with a bag of candy in hand. The circus, sleep overs, games, and all the pop and TV you could want. The time and attention she gave...when you were with her you knew you were loved.
And as I'm sharing my memories of my aunt with my kids, I hear myself say, "She was more like our grandma than our aunt."
Here's the thing...my paternal grandparents, born in the early 1900's, passed away within two years of each other in the early 80s, both gone by the time I was four. Growing up I always felt it wasn't fair to not have the opportunity to know them, as our older cousins all did. Seeing pictures and hearing stories, I always felt my sister, brother, and I had missed out.
Sitting in that church pew I realized - or maybe re-realized something - in a very real way. God doesn't always give you what you want, but he always gives you what you need. If I needed a grandma growing up, God had it covered - my Aunt Loretta was it. She was a grandmother to my siblings and me in every way. And for the first time I felt a genuine peace about missing out on my grandparents.
So if you're feeling this way - that someone or something isn't in your life as should be, a sense of loss or missing - stop and pray for eyes to see and ears to hear. Clarity to see that God will/has provide(d) all you need, not only in Him, but also in other ways and people around you. We just need to continue to hand it over to Him, be expectant, and have eyes that see and ears that hear His provision in our lives.
