Spark of Faith

I have not posted here since January 1st. That is the longest I’ve ever gone without posting since I began this blog five and a half years ago. Life has a way of running away from you...and everything falls by the wayside as you struggle to catch up with it.

Yes, 2018 has been a struggle. No sooner did I post about choosing joy, than I found what it really was to practice what I was preaching, so to speak. It’s been three months of struggling with myself, people I love, and God as new norms settled in. All of which has only been accomplished by drawing closer to God.

We always quote the Bible in saying God works everything together for the good of those who love Him. Perhaps the struggle of 2018 so far is to draw me closer to God. A circumstance that didn’t pan out left me wide open to and suddenly hungry for more opportunity to serve God in a different way. Not necessarily looking for big or small ways, but instead to serve radically and intentionally, with at least one foot outside of the box and an ear to God’s lips so that I might move in obedience. I’m coming out of March with a kindling deep inside. It’s just a spark, waiting to fan into flame, but it’s intense.

Two things come to mind to share here, because they are a good definition of where I find myself. First, this short sampling of words to the Matt Redman song “Gracefully Broken” has become a mantra of sorts - an earnest prayer - in the past couple months:

“Take all I have in these hands
And multiply, God, all that I am
And find my heart on the altar again
Set me on fire, set me on fire
Here I am, God
Arms wide open
Pouring out my life
Gracefully broken”



And this photo passage from Ann Voskamp’s inspirational quote book “Be the Gift,” followed by some thoughts of my own upon reading it:

Reading this excerpt, the question that unfurls my thoughts this week - and I pass on for you to ask yourself - is: Am I desperate?

Do I “hunger and thirst for righteousness”? Do I want Him above all else...to invade my heart, change my mind, and alter my life?

Do I know that the best I can offer Him is “my broken and contrite heart”...that my life is made abundant in obedience and sacrifice.

Do I realize that I am where I am for “such a time as this”...but that all He’s made in me to give to the world comes through my communion with Him first.

Do I want it? Do I want to play my part in this Esther generation...to be the hands and feet bringing the good news through any means God asks? Am I looking for “real meat for my starved soul, dirt under my fingernails, and some real sacrifice in my veins...holy more than hollow”?

Then what am I waiting for?



I don’t know where God intends to take any of this, but I do know I’d rather not be anywhere else than in His plan. If He can bring this from the struggle of a few months time, I can’t even imagine what He will do in the rest of the year or the year after that. “All to Jesus now. Holding nothing back. I surrender.”