ANNOYED

Life is ridiculous. Not really bad by most standards, except it is severely lacking one thing I love without exception: reading. Usually life gets craziest for me with the busy months of the school year: March and September. This year, life hasn't let up since day one. Don't get me wrong, it's not all bad. There's time spent with family and friends and new or memorable experiences. And even things like grading papers has a good side: it means I have a job. So, I feel like I can only be annoyed at the most. Annoyed in capital letters at the least. ANNOYED.

The only books coming into my house are those on my wish list at paperbackswap.com. (Well there's Outlander #2, Dragonfly in Amber, from the library via OverDrive app...but I'm ashamed to say the number of times I've had to renew it. At three weeks a shot no less. Smh.) As the swap books trickle in I place them on my shelves, only to see other titles longingly beckon me. Titles I've waited forever to read, titles I have at my fingertips, yet they seem to elude me. Over the past few weeks, I've placed such titles by my bedside, because picking them up and stacking them nearby seems like a step in the right direction, as small a step as it may be.

So now I catch glimpses of them daily. Rushing in after work to change my clothes before heading out again. Out the corner of my eye while guiltily binging on past seasons of Survivor and Lost (just starting season 3...oh my lord, season 2 put me in a fit toward the end!). In a dead stare, grading essays and wishing that just by looking at the stack my essays would be graded and I could be reading. Between camera clicks and social media posts (my new puppy Gatsby might as well be a human infant). Fleetingly as I fall asleep.

I like to think my annoyance is becoming determination. That I will dig myself out of this never ending suck on my time and prevent it from happening again. We all know it's not true though. I enjoy time with my friends and family. I love Lost! Sleep is my next favorite thing to reading. Grading essays...haha. No. Necessary evil I guess.

But I have a goal. After this week I will be caught up on my school work. Next couple weeks I will finish up my forever read of Dragonfly in Amber (it's good, just long and my timing is bad) and read and review the newest Mitch Albom as part of a TLC Tour, which I'm excited about. I'm setting time limits to get things graded efficiently instead of dragging them out and dwindling around my kitchen table and work desk. I'm limiting the number of nights I have stuff to do per week. By Thanksgiving I will be set to sit. Sit and read...and watch more Lost. I'm starting with that special stack. And hopefully season 4 of Lost.

I've never had such a bad reading year. Anyone else feeling this?