THEE List 2013

I was going to write a super creative paragraph or two talking about some random topic while incorporating my book list for 2013, but I've got too much Les Mis on the mind and I think I'll be writing about that soon instead.

Every year I make a list of 50 books I'd like to read. I never make it through the whole list because other things come up and sometimes I happen upon another irresistible read or recommendation. But making a list every year allows me to peruse my shelves and anticipate new publications for which I've been waiting. One problem I anticipate is the rereading of Anna Karenina and first time read of The Count of Monte Cristo. At 864 and 1462 pages respectively, those are big chunks of reading time; however, I really want to reread AK before seeing the movie and CMC has been haunting me, so I am going to attempt them both!

So here for your viewing pleasure (and maybe some ideas) is the list of books I want to read in 2013.

PS: number 50 is empty - nothing was grabbing me. Suggestions welcome!

2013 Book List

1. Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell

2. Gone Girl - Gillian Flynn

3. Outliers - Malcolm Gladwell

4. Middlesex - Jeffrey Eugenides

5. At Home: a Short History of Private Life - Bill Bryson

6. The Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas

7. Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children - Ransom Riggs

8. Accomplice - Eireann Corrigan

9. before i fall - Lauren Oliver

10. Willow - Julia Hoban

11. Let's Pretend This Never Happened - Jenny Lawson

12. Who Do You Think You Are? - Mark Driscoll

13. Give Them Grace - Elyse Fitzpatrick and Jessica Thompson

14. The Maze Runner - James Dashner

15. The Scorch Trials - James Dashner

16. The Death Cure - James Dashner 

17. Unwind - Neil Shusterman

18. Dead to You - Lisa McMann

19. Uglies - Scott Westerfeld

20. Pretties - Scott Westerfeld

21. Specials - Scott Westerfeld

22. Extras - Scott Westerfeld

23. Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy (reread)

24. The Joy Luck Club - Amy Tan

25. A Clockwork Orange - Anthony Burgess

26. Watership Down - Richard Adams

27. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn - Betty Smith

28. The Pearl - John Steinbeck

29. Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden

30. Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet - Jamie Ford

31. The Good Earth - Pearl Buck

32. The Fault in Our Stars - John Green

33. The Things They Carried - Tim O'Brien

34. The Time Keeper - Mitch Albom

35. The Memory Keeper's Daughter - Kim Edwards

36. Tearing the Silence - Ursula Hegi

37. The Writing Life - Annie Dillard

38. MWF Seeking BFF - Rachel Bertsche

39. How Reading Changed My Life - Anna Quindlen

40. Ruined by Reading - Lynne Sharon Schwartz

41. The Liars' Club - Mary Karr

42. Cherry - Mary Karr

43. Lit - Mary Karr

44. Monkey Mind - Daniel Smith

45. The Intolerance of Tolerance - D.A. Carson

46. Something Wicked This Way Comes - Ray Bradbury

47. The Tipping Point - Malcolm Gladwell

48. Freakonomics - Steven Levitt and Stephen Dubner

49. One Thousand Gifts - Ann Voskamp

50. 

Score One for Me

This week has proven a success in the "reading family" front...and it was all luck. Let me back up and explain.

I am a firm believer that reading is the basis behind most successful people. And I don't mean book crazy reading like me, but simply the ability, willingness, and interest to read, which usually means a person can read well. Even if a person doesn't read much for pleasure, it is still a widely necessary skill to get further in life. Now all of this is convenient for my purposes...because even if it wasn't true, I'd still aim to make my family a "reading family" just because I love books.

And luck? Luck is when preparation meets opportunity. My family has been absolutely primed to value books and reading in general. There is a large, overflowing bookshelf in every room of my house; they've received books as gifts their whole lives; they've always seen me reading; and I've always talked books with them (preparation). My daughters caught on quickly and even my TV addicted husband has read series of books that proved themselves irresistible. Now all I was waiting for with my son, who is 8, was the opportunity for all that prep work to kick in.

Opportunity struck twice this week! First, during my book trip with my middle daughter last Saturday (same trip I wrote about in my last post), we stumbled across a trilogy in the kids' section called Dr. Proctor's Fart Powder. Looking through it I knew my son could read it, but the title was all he needed. I found the first one on my bookswap site with hardly any wait time. When I got home I told him about it and he sounded interested as he went into hysterical little boy giggles.

The next day he comes home from school, asking if I had gotten the mail. I said yes and his reply, "Well? My book?" I told him I hadn't ordered it yet because we were second on the waiting list. He threw his math workbook down with a dejected look, "I hate homework." Teacher-me wanted to lecture about taking frustrations out on homework. English-me wanted to say eh, it's just math. We did the homework and he talked about how badly we needed to go to Barnes and Noble the whole time. (Which, by the way, he thought was a library until very recently. Oops.) Luckily, the book was offered up to me the next day and we are currently waiting its arrival from a lady in Florida. Can't beat a book that only costs media mail shipping!

Today my son came home with the second book in the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series. He had read to page 74 in a couple days and was very excited to share. I took him to his sister's room where the entire seven book series sat on her shelf. His eyes widened and he pulled them out and started to put them in order. "I wish these were mine," he said suggestively.

"Well, I bought them and any books I buy for one kid, any kid can read," I told him.

A pause. "Can I keep them in my room?"

"Of course." And he and the books were gone. I went to get the girls together for their piano lesson, calling out to Cade on my way to grab his DSi (hoping to pass the hour in the car peacefully). But he replied, "Can I bring a book instead?" YES! in my mind, but said cooly.

He came out with the first of the Wimpy Kid series. "I thought you were halfway through the second one?" I said.

"I was, but I've gotta read the first one first." What? Was it possible that not only had my son hit his stride with some book interests, but he had a touch of my book snobbery as well? Gotta read them in order.

My son is required to read 30 minutes a night for school and so far it's been more often a hassle than not. He was never fully engaged in the stories we read. Until now...a couple of good ones and he's off. That's all it takes - that one special book that sparks a lifetime of reading success. 

Reading vs Writing

Debating my stance as a writer lately...not whether or not I am one, there's no doubt writing is in my DNA, but rather how much or what kind of a writer I am. Before the love of writing came the love of books, and I have spent my literary life debating which is more important to me...because spending more time in one activity takes away from the other. Being a teacher, mother of three kids, and an active member of two communities (one in which I live and one in which I teach), both hobbies cannot garner equal playing time. I always feel the need to choose, which seems silly, because the two activities go hand in hand. I think the need to settle on a choice activity is because I can then not feel guilty when I'm spending more time doing one over the other.

Two things happened this past week that helped me settle into "who I am" in my reader vs writer debate. I went to Barnes and Noble with my 11-year-old daughter to spend our gift cards. We had a good amount between us, plus an extra teacher discount, which made our cards worth more. We spent a good two, almost three, hours looking at books, reading sections aloud, and drinking fancy coffee. When we had made our purchases and headed back to the cafe for more coffee, I sat down with my daughter and said, "I love my students and my job, but if I were to do anything else, I'd want to come here every day and shelf books and help people pick them out and find them. I would know this store like the back of my hand." Then a student of mine who works there was going on break, so I showed her the selections I had made for my classroom (she would be the first to read them , I knew).

Soon after the man sitting a few seats down from us asked, "Do you know any good authors for teens?" I laughed and asked, "Do you have something to write with?" He did and he already had a title to ask about. He was buying for his niece, trying to inspire a love of reading in her, but didn't want any material that crossed the line, so to speak. The title he had was a John Green book and I gave him Green's name and more of his books to look for. He asked for another author and I gave him the "Wake" trilogy by Lisa McMann (I actually had one of her newer books in my bag at that moment). He named a few that he had gathered from various sources and I told him the premise of each, because he was trying to avoid certain topics, and these were iffy-topic titles he mentioned. He thanked me and said he didn't want to take up too much of my time. Honestly, I was ready to march him off to the YA section and fill his arms with books!

Of course, the highlight of my day was the time with my daughter. It was so relaxed and we had so much fun just looking through books and talking. But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't titillated by my conversation with the guy. Opening a whole new world (sorry Aladdin, but it's found in books) to someone...making connections...sharing something I love and know is beneficial...I was in my glory. And the fact that I had just stated this desire to share and then have him ask? I don't believe in coincidence!

The second event was a post I read on a writing friend's blog - Carolynn...with 2Ns. She talked about where she stands as a writer and how she feels ok about it. It forced me to truly debate with myself. What kind of writer am I? I am much, much happier reading a book than writing. And when I do write, it is usually short pieces: blog posts, articles or essays. Short, but complete and satisfying. Carolynn's post made me debate this and come to an understanding with myself.

Reading wins. I cannot live without books (that's Thomas Jefferson by the way and I have two of the exact plaque pictured above). And I know some may think, "Why choose?" What can I say? When I'm writing, I want to be reading and when I'm reading, I want to read more. It's not to say I give up on writing or that my writing mode won't change. I'm in an extremely busy season of my life and in a matter of years it will change again. My WIP will be something I continue to work with because I believe in my mother's story and I believe I am to write it. That has not changed at all. But I will not feel guilty when I choose reading over writing. The writing will come in its time and until then I have my books.

What kind of strange battles do you fight with yourself?

The Paperback Princess

Writer friend M strikes again, sending a friendly text reminder that I have a blog that hasn't been blogged for almost two weeks. To which I texted "Humph." However, I do have something new I've been up to in the world of reading and writing...what better way to start the year?

I've recently found myself following a new blog, "The Paperback Princess." According to her profile on goodreads.com (where she is also The Paperback Princess, and yes, I follow her there as well), she is about my age and seems to read as much as I do (well, before I had three kids anyway). Her blog is full of reviews and discussion about nothing but books! I love it.

For the end of 2012, she posted her reading year in review, which was a total of 82 books read. Her goal was 50, same as mine, although because of reading Les Mis I only landed at the 43 book mark for 2012. (If anyone wants to count Les Mis's 1463 pages as three or four books, then I did much better!)

Anyway, her year in review was filled with both familiar and new titles and authors, judging them in ways that a reader and book lover would totally understand. She talks about giving a new genre (murder mystery) a chance and being pleasantly surprised. And, to be fair, she didn't read just one, but a wide range, from loving Agatha Christie to the more recent and popular Gillian Flynn (Gone Girl).

She also mentions giving certain authors and books "a chance...despite the awful cover." We all know we shouldn't figuratively judge a book by its cover, but you better believe we do it literally! She spent time with historical fiction as well and a touch of nonfiction works, including Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers, which has been pushed back on my reading list, but now will definitely be read this year! (She is actually the second person in a couple days who mentioned that author and book on a blog...I don't believe in coincidences!)

Her other year of 2012 post was her top ten. As any true reader would understand, picking a limited number of favorites is hard, but she manages to give a nice selection of books. We share a number of reads (Room, The Book Thief), authors (Wally Lamb, Markus Zusak), and what I call my prospects - books or authors I've been considering (Gillian Flynn's Gone Girl, Jeffrey Eugenides's Middlesex). The reassuring and exciting aspect about all of this is that I've likely found a new "book buddy," because it seems we have some overlapping reads, authors, and interests. And she knows what she's talking about - a reader can recognize another reader's passion. (My book buddy list is really only two people of all the readers I know. People I "talk shop" with often and know their take on the world of reading, writing, and words...so big deal for me to gain another!)

And to seal the deal, she has a post just about Les Mis and talks about always trying to read the book before the movie. What more can I ask for in a reader? If you like to read, check out The Paperback Princess.

Are there any reading/book/writing blogs you would highly recommend?

This Good Bye Will be Different

My church has always been what I considered a "sending" church. It seems we always have great people for a season of time and then they are sent out to serve. It is cool to know all of these people over the years who have moved throughout the country to serve in a different capacity or become missionaries. And it's also always been hard to see them go.

In only a few days' time, my church and my family will say good-bye to our current Pastor and his family, as they move back to their home state after about twenty years of serving in the military and/or church in other states, about seven or so of those years with us in Ohio. They are excited and we are excited for them, as it has long been a dream to live near their families again. However, it's bittersweet to see them go.

Pastor Jason and his wife Frances came into our lives at a time when my husband and I were just opening up to the idea of getting to know people. They treated us like family and through that showed us what friendship truly entails. They brought very different perspectives on long held beliefs into our lives, teaching us to examine and reflect on topics ourselves, being transparent about themselves and their experiences. It wasn't always rainbows and butterflies between us, we had our rough times as we changed personally and as we all learned what it meant to live life with each other. Even in the hard times I feel we grew and learned so much about who we are and what it means to be with other people in this life.

When someone comes into your life and makes a huge difference, it's hard to fathom going back or being without them. Of course, there's also the matter of finding someone or something in the right place at the right time. All of this comes together to make a difficult good-bye.

People tend to measure friendship through contact, words exchanged, events experienced, etc. And while these are all signs of friendship (who after all wants a friend who never tries to engage with you?), I've come to realize that a strong friendship can endure distance. I will even venture to say that distance can make a good friendship better. Perhaps because there is a deeper connection at work.  Who knows? I've not experienced it yet, but I feel peace about the thought and the reassurance Jason and his family have given of this being their experience over their years of moving.

Memories are abundant. (Heck, I have three or four of Frances's Filipino recipes that will recall memories every time we prepare them...let alone the bigger memories.) And with texting and FB we will keep in touch without a doubt. I'm sure future plans for visits will come about. But for now, this piece of our time together is over and it will stand as a turning point in our lives. We will all purposely take what we've learned from and through each other and move forward into other relationships and situations, hopefully touching and influencing lives as ours have been. In these ways, this good bye will be different.

God bless you Jason and Frances, and your children Kylie, Melina, and Caleb (and your new son-in-law Parker too), as you follow His lead in this new adventure. We feel at times you were brought to crazy Ohio just for us, so thank you for obeying the call. You will be missed and there aren't exactly words to say it, except that, as you've always told us, this isn't really good bye.

Survivor Mode is Extinct in 2013.

When you start out life with an attitude and quite a few things working against you, there's nothing to do but charge ahead and do what it takes to stay alive. And for about ten or so years that was the mode my husband and I worked in...Survivor. Days, weeks, months were wished away as we worked just to pay the bills and awaited the next event to take place. And events always wore off quickly, which left us awaiting the next.

And before you know it, you're ten years down the road with three kids and a schedule of stress wondering how the heck you got to this point and how you are going to survive the remainder of it. Survivor mode has become a trap.

There is a time and place for survivor mode I suppose. It really is what got us through the tough beginning and my husband's years of weird afternoon/night shifts that left him nothing but exhausted and me a single parent working full time. But when my husband was laid off from his job in 2009, we suddenly felt like a complete family with a regular schedule, although that didn't stop survivor mode from pushing us along. With my husband now fully present, I no longer needed to make most of the decisions, but I did. My kids had grown out of those easily controlled little kid stages without my ability to communicate changing with them. My identity and the way I viewed life changed drastically, but the very essence of survivor mode fights against everything I want to stand for. Old habits die hard and everything that survivor mode had previously used to make our lives work, is starting to work against us.

Now, as 2012 comes to a close, I find that the past year or two has been weaning us from our survivalist leanings while also giving us warnings about what will happen if we don't let go. With my dedicated husband, three amazing kids, and a wonderful teaching job, life should be about living, not just merely surviving. From here on out, I want my life to be about the living...day to day enjoyment of what God has so richly blessed me with: my husband and kids, my students and co-workers, and my family and friends. I want my life to be about the living of others...reaching out to those in need, to be a friend, and fully realizing every other person and/or opportunity that comes across my path. No more wishing away time or wishing for a better time. The time is now.

Ecclesiastes says, "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven." Don't miss the seasons of life! Even the hard seasons serve the purpose of making us stronger in some way, although it may mean breaking us down first.

So welcome 2013! Day by day I will walk as one living and bring life where I tread. Two goals are set (one among my little family and one among strangers) to carry me through the year (and beyond). Instead of wondering where I'll stand on them six months from now, I think I'll just take it a day at a time and enjoy the journey. Maybe I'll find something I would've otherwise missed. Actually, I'm counting on it.

Goodbye, but not really...

This week the main writing blog I follow closed down after four years. Agent/Editor Betsy Lerner (author of The Forest for the Trees and Food and Loathing), is rightfully taking her time and moving it toward her actual writing goals. Her wit and smarts on the topic of writing and the publishing community sustained many people over the years, in her book and on her blog.

Although I've had Betsy's writing book for ten years, I only Googled her and found her blog in July. So being a relatively new comer, I don't feel I can share in the sentimentality as much as others blogging about her goodbye. However, she is a magnetic personality and to learn so much from someone in a short time is something for which to be grateful. I will miss the moment when I opened my email to see a new post or the list of comments from the last time I'd stopped by to comment myself. So it is goodbye Betsy, but not really...

When someone pours into your life, they never really leave you do they? Whether it be negative or positive, we find a way to settle in with it and live...negative being the harder task by far. So Betsy will never leave her readers so long as they retain her lessons and wisdom.

Not to mention her community. As much as I enjoyed Betsy herself, her crazy array of followers made the reading fun too. I've started following many of their blogs as well over the past months and am glad I did. Now I still have that community, although not all in one place, I have these people who understand a writer's world and what it means to be living a writing life. And in the end, that was my whole purpose for blogging in the first place. These people were as much my inspiration to start my own blog as anything. Together we can keep inspired, as Betsy has taught us.