Small Beginnings

So I used a chainsaw today. It wasn't planned ahead. My husband and I had dropped off furniture to a friend's parents, had brunch, and pulled into our driveway talking about chopping leaves with the mower and the homework I still had to finish. Maybe it was the homework talking, I don't know, but looking into the backyard I said, "I want to cut down a tree."

Our yard is bordered along one side and in the back by a farm. All that separates us from the animals in the pasture (usually horses right out back) is a simple electric fence and a swatch of mostly dead trees, vines, high grass, and brush. In other words, a mess. And I had the sudden urge to take a chainsaw to the mess, creating a beautiful view of the horses.


Easier said than done. Once we got to it, we found that a lot of the tangled mess had briars and needed removed first to even get to the trees. A cut tree didn't necessarily fall because it was held up by the others around it. And under all those briars, high grass, and brush, lay plenty of heavy, already fallen trees that needed chopped up and removed. And once anything was uprooted, it took a bit of work to chop it all up and discard it to the woodpile or fire pit. In the end, of the whole expanse of the backyard, we invested four hours and had one tiny cleared corner to show for it...and that was just the trees!

Easier said than done...isn't that how it usually is? But does that make it not worth starting? Zechariah 4:10 (NLT) says, "Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin..." Think back to anything you've accomplished. Now, where or how did it start? To begin my current eighteen year journey of motherhood, it took nine long months and seventeen painful hours that seemed they would never end. My current place in a PhD program required that first step onto a college campus as a 17-year-old undergrad, twenty years ago. Our wonderful, dream, blessing of a house was a gutted, unlivable, foreclosed mess just over a year ago, that took four months of sweat and tears (literally both of those) to make it HOME for the rest of our lives to come.

And God nudges me in the observance of that small, cleared corner, "Isn't it the same with your heart?" He reminds me of my discoveries of my own heart - a mess much like what lies at the back of my yard. Things have died and fallen and rotted, and other stuff has grown over top and feeds from the decay below. A mix of briars holds it all solidly in place. Slowly He's revealed the top layer; but, much like the dead, fallen trees under the brush, with one layer revealed and removed, another is discovered. It's a convoluted mess in there, no earthly light at the end of this tunnel.

The line of dead vegetation extends down the length of my yard. Four hours. One small corner. Is the beginning too small? Is my time wasted? A horse comes to the water bucket...I can now see her approach and watch her drink from my house because the entire corner is clear of debris. And the answer comes to me, "God will make this happen, for he who calls you is faithful" (1 Thessalonians 5:24).

Where was your heart this time last year? Three years ago? Five? Ten? Twenty? Twenty years ago I was an 18-year-old kid living for myself and facing the consequences. Ten years ago, I was a mom of three little kids, surviving the days as they came, but doing all I could, slowly building that relationship with God seriously for the first time. Five years ago, my heart had been flipped upside down with a realigned identity, deliverance, and new God perspective. Three years ago, my heart was on the verge of hearing and seeing God like never before. Almost exactly this time last year, God gave me a small glimpse of a future calling. A small beginning twenty years ago has led me to this point and now a new small beginning starts.

The fact of the matter is, we cannot effectively head into our futures and the callings God has for us without His refining fire. Change is hard and often painful, but He brings it in the best timing and for the best purpose. We wield our chainsaws (kinda like a modernized Sword of the Spirit, right? ) and trust that He who began a good work in us will be faithful to see it finished (Philippians 1:6). That mess? God will take the small beginning you offer up in obedience, and He will help you clear it away. Before you know it, time will have passed and you will stand gazing in wonder at the beautiful view of the horses.

Do not despise small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin...and so should we.